Are You Amazing (And Do You Know Why?) Or is Delusion Your Most Transferable Skill? Pt. 4

A Layoff-Launched Guide to Career Panic, Self-Worth, and (Hopefully) Sticking the Landing

Part IV: Layoffs, Life Gardening, and Lightning

Tension builds in the aftermath of a layoff, and it’s a good idea to pay attention to the moments when you feel that tension release.  Because it’s much easier to think when you’re not panicking.  A few days ago, one of those moments found me. I walked outside, and it was, for the first time in a long time, over 80 degrees, 82 in fact, and sunny, and I just immediately felt myself release a cluster of clutched-up tension that I didn’t even realize I was even carrying.

Wanting to bask in that moment, I just spent an hour watering the lawn, and listening to a YouTube video of someone I hadn’t heard of named Neville Goddard.  I’m glad Neville came along, because he gave me an entirely new frame, which has been allowing me to relax into the process of figuring out my life from here, rather than panic-dash my way through it.

In the video I listened to, Neville was explaining the idea that people tend to rarely ever obtain what they want when they’re in a state of ‘desperation.’  I’m not sure if that’s true for you, but for me, it made me instantly think of attempting to date during my teen years.  Hopefully your mind went to something a little less embarrassing.

Neville suggested—and this gets metaphysical, but it resonated with me-- that if you truly want something, what you really need to do is to make yourself feel as if you already have it.  Because, if you believe you already have the thing, or that it’s just been put in the mail, and is headed your way now, you won't be so anxious and desperate for it.  You can trust-- with the same amount of certainty you feel after buying something on Amazon-- that your universal order is now in process.  But don’t stare out the window, wondering when the truck will pull up.  Don’t stress about HOW you're going to get this thing that you want.  Your job is just to wait and see how the drama unfolds.

Neville’s contention— WARNING: excess-metaphor alert-- was that when you plant the seed of an idea, you won’t be able to see it doing all that work under the ground, growing roots and whatnot, but if you keep watering that idea, reinforcing it, it will eventually pop out of the soil, giving you evidence of its existence, and it will then proceed to grow into a tree, assuming it is allowed to flourish.  So, essentially, life gardening.  And all you've got to do is have the idea, and repeat your belief that it’s already yours, investing it with positive emotion; and the universe will do the rest.

I understand that this seems like a version of “The Secret.”  But, as a strategy for getting out of a layoff, releasing your worry, and dedicating yourself to KNOWING that a better future is just a few van hand-offs from arriving at your door, has its appeal.  And I do think there’s something to it.

Because there’s something I forgot to mention.  Prior to deciding to dedicate a month of my life to the creation of Bad Pet Poetry (as described in part III), I had already been using a handful of very simple mantras for myself, after hearing it suggested by J.T. O’Donnell and her team, in a video from Work It Daily.  The first mantras that I said, daily, in numerous inflections, from goofy to serious, were “I’m a writer” and “I’m a content creator.”  I did this for about a week before (poof), like magic, while recording a voice memo, I heard myself announce my intention to self-publish a book.  In the midst of layoff stress, mired in tactics and uncertainty, I still manifested enough self-belief to make that vow; and later, when I saw myself about to stumble, Jocko’s email and the universe popped up to say “Guy, c’mon.  No excuses.”

Standing there, watering the grass and listening to Neville’s idea, I came up with a few new mantras, including “I have a great job that I love” and “Money flows to me easily.”  I’m endeavoring to believe them.  But I will say that just a few hours after adding those mantras, a relative I hadn’t spoken to for about a month called me and asked “You need any money?”  I said no; but it really is nice to know that money is looking for me.

I like the idea of life gardening, because the other method of job searching— hunting through Linkedin job postings for a position that seems right, occasionally applying by uploading my resume, and then, for some reason, also cutting and pasting my resume into a company’s website, job by job, reformatting it again, line by line, then identifying my gender, then shamefully clicking that no, I’m not a military veteran-- every single time, even though it’s the 15th job I’ve applied to at the same company, and it’s 2025-- is creating a lot of stress. I would love my path to success to not be as stressful as I’ve inherently assumed it would be. Because I realize that if I hadn't spent months mired in a hectic, worrying state of taxing anxiety over this, but had instead just started writing, and calling old co-workers, the garden might be looking pretty good by now.

I’m not suggesting that you stop sending out resumes.  Making room for Neville’s theory doesn’t mean I’m not also heeding Jocko Willink’s message to ‘get after it’ and take ‘Extreme Ownership’ in this, or any process.  So, if you choose to life garden, that doesn’t mean you can’t also keep your head down and continue to search through all of the possible avenues open to you.  You should still hone in on your transferable skills, and your interview stories. Make those networking calls.  Just realize, when you do so, that this problem that you’re currently so concerned about has already been solved for you (in the near-future), and that what you’re doing now is unraveling the mystery of how it was solved.  It’s as if you’re living through an episode of Monk.  Sure, the detective has serious issues, and people think he’s just fumbling around, or in over his head; but so what?  Never for an instant was there even a tiny chance that the case wasn’t going to get solved.  Life gardening is a reframe; one that can help ease your mental distress during a difficult time.  And that’s something you deserve.

Let me leave you with one final thing, because Bad Pet Poems are not the only kind that I’m interested in.  Though the years, I’ve tried to write humorous or inspirational poems.  A few years ago, I wrote one to inspire myself called “Could You Lift Thor’s Hammer Today?"  In Marvel comics’ version of Thor, most people can’t lift his hammer; not just because it’s heavy, but because only those ‘worthy’ can lift it.  And worthiness isn’t only about being a good person.  It’s about having grit, a warrior’s spirit, and being just.  My poem was a reminder to myself to check in regularly and ask myself, ‘have you fought for what’s right today?  Have you helped, and defended?’ ‘Have you battled through your fears?’

Could you lift Thor’s hammer?

Do you have what it takes?

Being polite, but with might?

Willing to accept your mistakes?

If you ever find yourself, or currently do, in a situation like I’m in now, thrown out of the safety of your routine by a metaphorical trebuchet, try not to despair.  Don’t stay inert.  Use whatever tools you need, to try to figure out what actually makes you powerful and valuable.  That’s how you get worthy enough to lift your hammer, so you can aim and launch yourself to a place YOU want to go.  And if you’re not sure where to aim, try SOMETHING anyway.  Issue yourself a challenge.  Consult ChatGPT.  Listen to informative, inspirational podcasts hosted by people with soothing British accents, and watch dubious gurus on YouTube.  Say a mantra.  Just start spinning out rhymes, so the universe can rhyme back.

The storms always swirl;

Air molecules fighting.

Are you about to get hit?

Or will you wield the lightning?