Are You Amazing (And Do You Know Why?) Or is Delusion Your Most Transferable Skill? Pt. 3

A Layoff-Launched Guide to Career Panic, Self-Worth, and (Hopefully) Sticking the Landing

Part III – You Vs. You Note: Click Here for Part II - Transferable Skills & Your Next Move

And speaking of figuring it out, needing inspiration, and battling your way out of inertia, here’s something that fired me up as a writer, and the spontaneous, ridiculous decision I made, in my pursuit of keeping myself going creatively, which has landed me in a bit of a self-created self-help conundrum.

So, I recently signed up for an online service called Work It Daily, which helps you progress in your job search.  Great service so far, and it’s run by a woman named J.T. O'Donnell. Well, I recently ordered J.T.’s new book.   It arrived, and I was surprised when I saw that the book was self-published.  Then, I realized, well, of course it is!  She has a tremendous following on this, and other, platforms.  Of course, she would have no need for a middleman.

But then, I thought, “Well, why can’t I do that?  I can do that.”  I’m not exactly sure how I then made the following series of decisions, but I just kind of instantly came up with a concept for a book and, in the span of a well-considered fifteen seconds, I announced (to myself, in a voice memo, in a parking lot) “Well, I’m going to self-publish a book. I’m going to do it within 30 days.  And it will be… a collection… of Bad Pet Poetry.  I’m not allowed to change the concept or the timeline.  30 days. Bad Pet Poetry.”  Why?  Well, there’s a character in a book I have halfway written; a high-society woman who happens to be a terrible poetess, who rhymes exclusively about pets.  And because she’s married to the owner of the world’s most sophisticated dog and cat publication, the appalled editor of the magazine is reluctantly charged with manifesting this poetry collection.

Honestly, when I made this 30-day goal, I was thoroughly committed to it.  I’ve been complaining, even in this essay, about the feeling of inertia, and so I know I need to start moving and am endeavoring to do so.  And no matter how absolutely terrible (purposely or not) a collection of Bad Pet Poetry might turn out to be, it would certainly be movement, even if, when I look back on it after the fact, that movement is ultimately revealed to have been running on ice.  So, I was pumped.

But then, as often happens when we’re excited about a goal, that initial enthusiasm with which you viewed it begins to wane.  I could feel the air beginning to seriously leak out of the balloon that was my determination.  Because even bad poems, for one thing, take time to write.  And rhyming with purpose (while fun), when you need to do it for a book’s-worth of poetry, is also a draining brain tax.

But this was a moment when the universe was perhaps looking out for me.  Here I was, experiencing this deflation, when I opened my email, and the first one I clicked on contained a video that former Navy Seal (turned entrepreneur and Podcaster), Jocko Willink, had sent me; well, not me personally, since he doesn’t know me, but still.  There it was.  The email contained a video called “You Vs. You…. Your Greatest Opponent Is Yourself.” In the video Jocko said “YOU are the Villain, But… You are also the hero.”  The point of the video is the issuing of a 30-day challenge, starting April 14th, and going through May 15th.  This stuck out, because day 30 of my own hastily-launched 30-day goal was May 15th.

It gets weirder.  As he jabbed his finger at the screen, directly at me, speaking softly but intensely, Jocko said, “You have to do what you said you would do…. What you committed to doing, you actually have to do.  And there can be… no excuses.”  Further, Jocko advised having snacks on hand because “you are going to be in a sustained war with yourself.  So you need the fuel to keep going.”

The snacks were my tipoff that Jocko and I may not have fully been on the same page.  And it turns out that Jocko’s challenge was specifically focused on calisthenics and weight training.  Still, there could be… no excuses, so even if Jocko was urging me to challenge myself to attain new heights with squats and pull ups, if I truly wanted to heed the challenge’s call, I knew I’d have to do it with poems about lizards and gerbils.

Jocko’s challenge had a few parts.  The full challenge: First, set one strategic goal, build your plan, and execute it daily.  Next, he gives a grander timeline, by asking ‘where do you want to be 3 months from now, six months, a year.’  He then wants you to know exactly why this goal matters, and to map out the daily actions to execute your plan.

As I watched him berate me, I realized that Jocko has always felt like the no-nonsense, older brother role-model I needed, who could just wave off all of my overthinking and excuses.  As Jocko says in the video, “Those excuses? They’re just thoughts.  That’s all they are.”  Honestly, I think we all need someone to help us reign in the abundance of nonsense-within at times, even as we’re attempting to harness its power.

So, suddenly my promise to myself to stick to this 30-day goal had another layer.  Now Jocko, and possibly the universe, were telling me ‘Dude, you set this challenge.  I challenge you to stick with it.’  And it got me going again.  Because I don’t want to let Jocko down, or the universe.  Even more importantly, I want to prove to myself that I can continue to do difficult things, even when I’m doing them on my own, in my home office, while attempting to make parakeets and goldfish offer wisdom through the questionable poems they find themselves a part of.

Is this a worthy goal, and do I know where it’s going?  Not really, but, in a way, I think that’s beside the point.  Why?  Well, because you have to know yourself.  And what I know is that I could use a short, creative break from the soul-crushing, lonely endeavor that we embark on in times like these; which is figuring out what’s in your soul, and finding a workplace that will help your soul shine, and not die on the corporate vine.

If you don’t have time for that, find a friend like Stevie the parrot, from my new poem “Self-Help Wingman,” who spews back inspirational tidbits from his owner’s self-help tapes whenever her determination-balloon leaks. The bird was inspired, in part, by Jocko:

If Stevie ever heard Sue’s sighs,

Quickly, would he then advise,

“Stop giving away all your power!”

“Shift your state!”  “Take a shower!”

“You need to hear this, loud and clear!”

“No one else will help, my dear!”

“Discipline is your life-long friend!”

“You can be your hero, in the end!”

And Sue would get up off the mat,

Tossing her unhelpful cat,

Not knowing yet just how to stand,

Sue swore soon to understand.

Or, if you need momentum, set yourself a challenge.  In fact, anything you can do to boost your spirits, and to get yourself going, is a wise investment of your time.  True; in that grim, but somehow wildly amusing moment at the end of Monty Python and The Life of Brian, which ChatGPT referenced earlier (in part II of this essay), the Roman prisoners got to face their crisis as a full chorus.  But “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” is fun even when you’re singing it alone.

So, why aren’t you singing it?  Or, at least whistling it?  In fact, play it in the background throughout the day.  Or play something similar that makes you want to bounce your leg or dance.

If you’re feeling stuck in the mud, you’ve got to lift your mood, and build energy, so you can flail, and rock, and repeat as needed, until you can finally break free.  Don’t let yourself give in to immobilizing doubts or dread.  Don’t write yourself off.  Write yourself out of a bad situation.

STOP! Here lies the end of part III. Beyond here, it's just a lot of white space.

But here's Part IV: Layoffs, Life Gardening, and Lightning

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